


The Pure-Blood Secret

by supernovaness



Series: Secret-Keepers [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canon Rewrite, F/M, First War with Voldemort, Good Peter Pettigrew, Hogwarts, Hogwarts First Year, M/M, Marauders' Era, Pre-Slash, Pureblood Culture, Pureblood Politics, Room of Requirement, Social Justice, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, but there will be slash in this series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-05-01 22:36:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14530764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernovaness/pseuds/supernovaness
Summary: Remus didn't expect it to be so difficult to keep secrets from his dorm mates at Hogwarts. Luckily, he knows the perfect distraction: other people's secrets.This is the first in a series of Marauders' Era fics. Soulmates marks AU, and an AU where Remus uses the Room of Requirement rather than the Shack for transformations.Also an AU where Peter Pettigrew has actual character traits beyond "chubby" and "cowardly." (A+ character development.)





	1. Prologue

Sirius woke up one morning to find his whole body covered in scratches and bruises. He was used to scrapes and marks, but not like these.

He poked at his arm, carefully. It didn't hurt. He ran his finger over the scratches. They didn't feel raised at all.

He wasn't sure what they were, but he assumed his parents wouldn't be happy to see them. He'd been yelled at before for not covering up a skinned knee or a bruised cheekbone. He dressed carefully in his robes, making sure his arms and legs were well covered.

They faded within a week, but were back a few weeks later. When they vanished and appeared a third time, he vowed to tell his cousin Andromeda next time she visited. She would know what to do.

Luckily, she visited a few months later, and the marks were still visible. He waited until she and his brother Regulus were the only ones in the room.

"Look," he whispered, rolling up his sleeve.

"Oh, sweetie," she whispered, "who did this to you?" Regulus scooted closer for a better look.

"No," he said. "Not like that. They don't hurt. And the scratches aren't real, see?" He grabbed her hand and moved it along his arm so she could feel it was smooth. "They show up once in a while and then disappear."

Andromeda looked at him carefully. "How long has this been happening?"

Sirius shrugged. "A little while. Since summer."

"I think these might be soulmate marks, Sirius."

Sirius's parents didn't think much of things like romance or love. He had learned about some types of magic that made his stomach squirm, but soulmates were one of those things he only ever heard whispers of.

While Regulus traced his fingers over the marks on Sirius's arm, Andromeda told him about the magic that connected soulmates. She said that for most people, the marks didn't show up until they were much older, but the idea was that any temporary mark on one of their bodies, like bruises or ink splatters, would appear in the same location on their soulmate's body.

"Can you keep a secret?" she asked. Sirius and Regulus nodded. "My marks started showing up this year. I was inside studying all day, but when I looked at my calves, they were splattered with mud, and I couldn't get it off."

"Do you know who it is?"

"Not yet. But I know we'll find each other. Soulmates always do."

"Why does it have to be secret?" asked Sirius.

"My parents have already decided who they want me to marry. If they find out I'm looking for my soulmate, they'll try to stop me."

Sirius nodded. "My parents would do the same."

Andromeda looked him in the eye. "Yes. That's why you have to keep this a secret." She looked at Regulus. "Both of you."

They nodded again. Sirius looked at Regulus out of the corner of his eye. Reg was only four, and Sirius wasn't positive he understood how to keep a secret. But, on the other hand, he barely talked, especially to adults.

"Andie," began Sirius cautiously. He wasn't positive he wanted to know the answer to his question. "Why does my soulmate have so many bruises so often?"

Sirius thought Andromeda might cry. "I don't know, love," she whispered, pulling Sirius close. "I'm sorry. You'll have to find out once you meet her."

\--

When Sirius was 7, drawings started appearing along with the bruises. Sirius was especially impressed with one that made a large bruise look like a flame that a dragon was breathing.

He grinned, wondering why he hadn't thought of this possibility before. Each evening, he found himself sitting on the floor, pants rolled up, ink all over his hands. His favorite thing to do was turn the bruises into galaxies full of stars and planets. A couple times, a smiley face would appear next to one of his galaxies, so he made sure to draw them as much as possible. Once, his soulmate added to his drawing by turning the bruise into an eye, making the galaxy into its iris.

He knew that they could write to each other this way, but it seemed like cheating. He wanted his drawings to make his soulmate smile, but he didn't want to interfere with their journey. When he was 8, Andromeda whispered to him that she'd finally found her soulmate, and her whole face lit up. She had been hit with a Bludger during a Quidditch game, and the next time she went to score a goal, the Ravenclaw seeker had a bruise in the exact spot she'd been hit. According to her, she yelled for a timeout immediately and dragged him down to the ground so they could look in a mirror together.

A year later, nobody in his family would talk about Andromeda anymore. Sirius didn't dare ask questions, but he had seen her marriage announcement in the Prophet and knew her soulmate wasn't a pure-blood.

***

SIX YEARS LATER

“Ah, thank you so much for coming. Lyall, lovely to see you again. You remember Poppy?”

Remus watched the tall, gray-haired wizard shake hands with his father, barely noticing the witch dressed in nurse's robes in his wake. He gulped. Remus knew that this was Dumbledore, and he would be the one to decide whether or not Remus could attend Hogwarts.

“Dumbledore. I have to admit, we were intrigued by your owl. You remember my wife, Hope?” Dumbledore dipped his head to Remus's mother, who was clutching to his father. Remus was thrilled that she had insisted on joining them. She had never seen Hogwarts, and now they were seeing it for the first time together. “And this is Remus.”

All the adults turned to look at him. He tried to keep his eyes focused on the kind faces of his parents. He knew by now that people who knew what he was weren't usually very happy to meet him. But he couldn't help it. His eyes darted over to Dumbledore and the nurse, and he was amazed to find them both smiling at him.

“Remus,” said Dumbledore, blue eyes boring into him. “Excellent. So glad to have you here. This is Madam Pomfrey, Hogwarts's matron.”

The witch smiled at him, bending down so she was almost his height.

“Hello, Remus. Looks like we're going to be spending a lot of time together over the next seven years.” She winked at him. Remus's heart skipped a beat. He hadn't let himself really start to believe that he could attend Hogwarts, not wanting to be disappointed. But Madam Pomfrey was talking as if it was a sure thing.

“Hello,” Remus muttered, trying to return her smile.

“Excellent. Now that introductions are out of the way, if you wouldn't mind following me?” said Dumbledore, turning to lead the way without waiting for their response.

Remus walked with Madam Pomfrey behind his parents, gaping at the moving staircases and portraits that they passed. He hardly paid attention to where they were going, but he supposed it didn't really matter; Hogwarts seemed to be a maze.

How am I ever going to find my classes? he wondered. If I can come, that is, he quickly added, not wanting to get his hopes up.

“Here we are,” said Dumbledore at last, stopping at a corridor on either sixth or seventh floor – the very concept of “floors” seemed somewhat ambiguous in the castle, as far as Remus could tell.

Dumbledore turned to address the group.

“As I said in my owl, I've spent a lot of time researching some of the secrets that Hogwarts holds. If my findings are correct, Remus should be able to open up a door right here to a room that will adjust to his needs and keep him safe during his transformations. According to the accounts I've been able to dig up, the room seems to develop favorites, and will only open for people it deems worthy, but it will provide for those it chooses in every way.”

Remus stared at the Headmaster and wondered if maybe the rumors were true, and he was a little crazy after all. They were standing in front of a stretch of blank wall.

“I'm confident it will open for you, Remus,” said Dumbledore, peering at him over his spectacles. “All you need to do is place your hand on the wall and think about what you need for your transformations.”

Remus looked to his parents, who nodded encouragingly. Half expecting all the adults to tell him this was just a joke at any moment, he walked up to the wall and laid his palm against it.

And immediately pulled his hand away when he could feel the wall touch him back.

That doesn't make sense, Remus corrected himself. I was touching the wall. It didn't move.

But he couldn't think of how else to explain his certainty that the wall had been investigating him just as much as he was it.

He took a deep breath and returned his hand, and again felt an undeniable presence emanating from the wall. He closed his eyes in concentration. Dumbledore had said to think about what he needed, so Remus tried to do that.

Uh, hello, he thought, because it seemed rude not to acknowledge whatever it was he was talking to. I need somewhere safe to go. Somewhere that can contain me.

An image flashed into his mind – just a room with a locked door. He smiled.

No, stronger than that. I'll be dangerous. He pictured the werewolf as best he could and pictured the cellar they'd secured at home for his transformations. After a moment, he also pictured the destruction after a full moon, thinking it was better for the room to know that up front.

A new picture started to swirl in his mind, based off his image of the cellar. Remus added to it, making sure the chains were at a good height, reinforcing the door, and getting rid of the blood stains – he didn't know how to explain to the room that those weren't in the cellar on purpose.

The image they were creating together shifted into sharper focus in his mind, and then faded. Remus opened his eyes.

In front of him was a steel door. He looked back at the adults, grinning, but saw only confused expressions in return.

“Ah,” said Dumbledore, after a minute. “Mr. Lupin, I believe you might have succeeded in making a room so secure that nobody but you can even see it.”

Remus whipped his head back around to make sure the door was still there. He sought his parents' eyes.

“None of you can see the door?”

His mom shook her head.

“Well, that's good, isn't it? That way we can be sure nobody else finds it,” mused Remus.

“Quite right. But I think it might be best if Madam Pomfrey is able to get in, in the mornings, so we can make sure you don't injure yourself,” said Dumbledore.

Remus turned back to the wall. He placed his hand directly on the door this time, trying to sense what the room would need to make this change.

“Madam Pomfrey, can you put your hand here too, please?”

Silently, the matron came to stand beside him, adding her palm above his.

She needs to be able to get in, Remus thought. But only when I'm a human in there. Remus pictured Madam Pomfrey joining him in his human form, and being locked out when he was a wolf. He felt the room adjust to this new understanding they'd created, and he heard Madam Pomfrey's soft gasp beside him.

He opened his eyes and smiled at her, knowing it had worked. He opened the door, and she followed him into the room.

It was exactly as he'd pictured it. A little bigger than the cellar. There were chains on the walls, but Remus thought they might not be necessary, as he examined the steel door and all the locks on it. There was no furniture to break, and there was a high shelf where he'd be able to put his wand and clothes before he changed. Satisfied, he led the way back out.

“Well?” asked Dumbledore.

Remus nodded.

“Albus, it's just a cage,” said Madam Pomfrey softly from behind him. Her tone surprised Remus. She sounded upset at this.

“It's safe,” he assured her. “We can use the chains if we need to, but the door is really heavy, and it locks in about a dozen different ways. The wolf won't be able to get out.”

His heart was pounding. He was so close to being able to come to Hogwarts, he needed to assure them it'd be okay.

Madam Pomfrey looked helplessly at Dumbledore.

“I have no doubt about the safety of the room,” Dumbledore assured Remus, regarding him thoughtfully. “And regardless, it seems like it has bonded to you. I imagine it will adjust, if your needs should change while you are here.”

His heart might very well burst from his chest at any moment.

“So, does that mean he can attend?” asked his father, and Remus was so grateful that he hadn't had to voice the question himself.

“Yes,” said Dumbledore, smiling. “We'd be honored to have Remus join us at Hogwarts this term.”


	2. Chapter 1: Destiny

James Potter always believed in magic.

He grew up in a wizarding family, of course. He knew all about charms and potions and hexes. But he believed in a different sort of magic.

His parents were soulmates. That meant they were destined to be together.

“So,” he would say to them, “if you hadn't both been sorted into Gryffindor, you wouldn't have gotten to know each other, right? So that must have been destined, too. And both of you living in the UK and going to Hogwarts in the first place. And Grandma and Grandpa meeting, and Nana and Papa, and...”

His parents would smile at him indulgently, but they didn't seem as interested in this as he was.

Was there a limit to destiny? Was everything destined?

He liked the idea that he had a destiny. Not just a soulmate; he wasn't particularly interested in anything like that just yet. But the idea that there was a life already set out that he was meant for, that he couldn't mess up, because it would all happen exactly how it was supposed to.

He felt the pull of destiny when he stepped into a compartment on the Hogwarts Express and found another first-year boy, with long, black hair, reading what was clearly a Muggle magazine with the headline “ALIENS: Do They Live Among Us?” in large print on the cover.

“What's an alien, then?” he asked as way of introduction. The boy looked up at him and grinned.

“They're like little green men that live on other planets. Muggles blame all sorts of things they can't explain on them.”

“Oh.” James frowned to himself. “Do they look like House Elves, then?”

The boy pointed at him in approval. “Excellent theory. Think I might write in to the magazine and tell them that the aliens everyone claims to see are actually indentured servants that use magic to serve wizards. They'd love that.”

“Are you Muggleborn, then?”

The boy snorted. “Sirius Black.”

James did a double-take. Yes, the boy definitely had all the defining characteristics of a member of the Black family: peach skin, silvery eyes, hands that looked like they'd never done a day's work (not that James's were any different), and the silky dark hair. But...

“You're reading a Muggle magazine.”

“Not just any Muggle magazine. A Muggle conspiracy theory magazine.”

James continued to stare at him.

“No need to introduce yourself, of course, although I might point out that it would've been polite. Potter, right?”

“Oh. Right. Uh, James,” James clarified, still trying to sort out the puzzle that was Sirius Black. “What's with the magazine, then?”

Sirius grinned. “Pisses off my parents. And it's dead interesting. The closer Muggles get to the truth, the more the rest of the Muggles think they're crazy.”

Yes. James was definitely glad he'd sat in this compartment. He was about to ask Sirius to clarify whether or not these “aliens” were real, when the door opened, revealing a pale, straw-haired boy with ruddy cheeks.

“You two are first-years, yeah?” he said.

“I'm actually eighty-three years old,” Sirius said immediately.

“Never would've guessed! I'm hitting triple digits next month, myself,” responded James.

The boy in the doorway smirked in amusement and sat down next to James.

“Well, that balances it out. I'm only five. My parents reckon I'm a prodigy,” the boy grinned.

James felt another pang of certainty that this boy belonged with them.

“James Potter,” he said, sticking out his hand.

“Peter Pettigrew.”

“Sirius Black.”

“Interesting mix, the two of you, yeah?” said Peter, thoughtfully.

“Ugh. I've got to go find some people who aren't pure-blood to befriend,” grumbled Sirius.

“Sirius here is keen to distance himself from his parents, I gather,” explained James.

“The whole bloody lot of them,” added Sirius.

“Brilliant. My family's much too boring to rebel against, I'd love to live vicariously through you,” said Peter.

As he heard the door open once more, James swung his head around to face the door.

“Are you pure-blood?” asked Sirius immediately. The new boy looked at him with an expression James had never seen on a child's face before. It seemed to suggest that he knew everything he needed to know about Sirius just from that question, and he had been found lacking.

“Sirius, mate, that's not really the best way to indicate that you don't care about blood status,” said James.

“Right. That did come out bad. Er, sorry.” Sirius seemed to be blushing. The boy in the doorway raised an eyebrow at him. “What I meant to say was, I'm sick of pure-bloods, please tell me you're not one, but do come in and have a seat.”

The boy's eyes swept over the rest of them in the compartment before taking the seat next to Sirius. James was surprised he'd decided to sit with them at all. Maybe the rest of the train was starting to get really packed.

Sirius's face was still red, so James took it upon himself to introduce the three of them.

“Remus Lupin,” the boy said at last. James took a moment to look more closely at him. His hair was a golden brown and a little shaggy. His eyes also seemed to have a bit of gold in them. But, the most interesting thing, in James's opinion, were the light scars that crisscrossed all over the skin James could see.

Remus caught him staring, and James looked away.

“Are you a first-year?” asked Peter, frowning.

“Yes.”

“Oh. You seem...older.”

“So I've been told.”

Sirius still hadn't said a word since his abrupt question to Remus, and James had the impression that he was trying to think of something redeeming to say.

“Er, do you all know what House you want to be in?” was apparently the best thing Sirius could come up with.

“Gryffindor,” said James instantly. “Most of my family has been.”

“Brilliant. I'm game for anything but Slytherin, which most of my family has been,” said Sirius.

“Oh, I'm not sure,” said Peter. “Makes me a little anxious to think about it, to be honest.”

“Remus?” prompted James.

“I'm not sure either,” he replied. “Depends on what exactly the Sorting Hat looks for, I suppose. Is it about values? Is it about areas you're striving to grow in? Is it about character traits you've already displayed?”

James had always done well in his home tutoring, and felt fairly confident in his intelligence. But he'd always felt that his tutors had been disappointed when they'd ask, “Any questions?” and he had none. They seemed to wish he'd wonder about why and how, and it never occurred to him to ask. Remus, on the other hand, seemed to have exactly that inquisitive mind he lacked.

Destiny, James thought again, looking at the three of them.

And that evening, after they'd all been Sorted into Gryffindor and had found themselves sharing a dorm, James was more sure than ever.

They were destined for something grand.

 

***

Remus would always be grateful that James and Sirius were outgoing enough to force their friendship on him. He had been picturing himself as largely alone throughout the rest of his life, and he didn't think he'd mind that. After all, sitting in front of the fire with a book and a mug of cocoa was his favorite thing in the world. So he was grateful that these loud and excitable boys seemed to like his quiet focus as much as he liked their obnoxious energy.

Remus knew that he had a soulmate. His parents had always talked about their own bond, and were excited when his marks started showing up so young. But he always thought that as soon as his soulmate learned he was a werewolf, he'd be alone again, anyway.

But James and Sirius and their relentless friendliness has made him realize there were other things he liked as much as being alone. Like enchanting his friends' homework to follow them around until they completed it. And working out how to pull off a prank without getting caught. And lying awake at night, talking to others about their day.

But it was Peter who really made Remus comfortable in their group. Whenever Remus resented the other two's ability to be easily outgoing, he looked to Peter as an example of how it was okay that all four of them weren't like that. Peter contributed as much to the group as James and Sirius, and that helped Remus think that maybe he contributed something, too.

And Peter had an uncanny knack for reading people. Remus was careful around all of them, of course. He had noticed Sirius watching him; Sirius had no subtlety and only grinned when he was caught. But Peter seemed to be constantly watching all of them out of the corner of his eye. Remus knew that Peter noticed whenever he put on his carefully blank expression whenever they started touching on a topic that was a little too close for comfort.

It was an invaluable skill in their group. Peter became the default distraction for whatever plot they dreamed up, or the spy when they went snooping for information. He spelled out the puzzle for them, Remus would solve it, and James and Sirius would put it into action. It felt like they were all cogs in a well-oiled machine.

“A machine is like...it's a system that Muggles use to complete tasks so they don't have to do them by hand,” Remus found himself explaining when he voiced that analogy to the others.

“Sounds like they do a lot of work to avoid doing work,” Sirius commented.

Remus rolled his eyes.

“Sirius, two minutes ago, you summoned a chocolate bar from my nightstand so you wouldn't have to walk over here to get it.”

“Yeah, but that took no energy. I didn't have to go invent and build some contraption....”

“So what you're saying,” said James, as if Sirius had never interrupted Remus's explanation, “is that we all fit together to make something else happen.”

“Right. Like a watch. Or the engine of the Hogwarts Express.”

James broke into a grin that Remus was starting to associate with trouble.

(“Don't think of it as trouble,” James would say. “Think of it as adventure.”)

“I'm telling you, it's destiny. We're fated to do great things.”

Remus snorted. James had been on about this all year, but Remus couldn't see how charming the Slytherins' shoelaces to tie together so they'd all trip when they got up from breakfast classified as “great.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for reading so far! Wanted to throw in a shout out to [Drawings from Soulmates](https://archiveofourown.org/series/610624). I know there are lots of soulmate marks AUs out there, but that was the first one I read, and heavily influenced how I decided to make this universe work.


	3. Chapter 2: Caution

“Who's that Slytherin Evans is talking to?” asked James, craning his neck as they joined the Gryffindors and Slytherins outside of the dungeon for their first Potions class.

“Dunno,” said Sirius. He hadn't really yet learned the names of any of the other first-years. To be honest, he wasn't entirely sure which one was Evans.

“She's Muggleborn, you know,” James went on. Sirius did not know. “She probably has no idea what sort of evil gits end up in Slytherin.”

“You mean Lily?” asked Remus as he and Peter joined them. Ah. Lily Evans. That name did sound familiar, now that he thought about it. “I'm guessing that's Severus Snape she's talking to. They knew each other from back home.”

James gaped at him. “How do you know that?”

Remus gave him a funny look. “Lily and I have eaten breakfast together all week, while you lazy gits insist on having a lie-in.”

“Snape,” Sirius said, mostly to himself. “That's not a pure-blood name, is it, James? Wonder how he ended up in Slytherin.”

“I'm sure he's not the only one,” said Remus. “They'd run out, eventually, if they only took pure-bloods. Some of them are probably just aren't flaunting their blood status.”

Before any of them could respond, the door to the dungeon opened, and they were ushered in by Professor Slughorn.

“Ah, yes,” he began as everyone took their seats. “Another batch of first-years! There's nothing more rewarding than seeing all your bright, young faces and knowing the exciting path you'll be embarking on over the next seven years.” Slughorn beamed at them.

Slughorn started off his class by taking attendance, as all the other professors had. Sirius tried to pay more attention than he had been, so he would at least know who James was talking about next time. Plus, Slughorn seemed to enjoy making comments on the names he recognized.

“Ah, another Black! I've had your three cousins in my House, of course. I'll admit I was a bit disappointed when you were Sorted into Gryffindor!” Slughorn said it with a smile, as if Sirius would have loved being in Slytherin with Narcissa. It was a shame Andromeda had graduated before he'd started Hogwarts. He hadn't seen her in such a long time.

“I'm quite happy in Gryffindor, thanks,” said Sirius. Slughorn chuckled.

“I have no doubt! Let's see....” He turned back to the roster. “Lily Evans?”

Sirius made sure to see whose hand rose, and found the back of her head in the front row. Evans had bright red hair, and he quickly identified her as the witch who'd been raising her hand frequently in classes all week. Sirius hadn't realized she was Muggleborn, and he mentally chastised himself for assuming that someone so knowledgeable must have been raised in the Wizarding World. Sitting next to her was a head of greasy black hair, who Sirius assumed must be the Snape character James and Remus had been talking about before class.

Slughorn was moving on to Iphigenia Greengrass, and Sirius tuned into their conversation. He'd met Lord and Lady Greengrass before, but Iphigenia had always been kept out of sight of society, and there were a million rumors as to why. From where he was sitting, he could tell that the rumors about disfigurements or large birthmarks were false, at least. She seemed pretty standard for the Greengrass family: rather short, with a tiny nose and thick, curly hair.

“Another Gryffindor who I was sure would be in my House!” Slughorn was saying. Greengrass, Sirius saw, seemed rather embarrassed at the attention. “No matter, of course. I trust your father's well? I guess we'll see if you inherited his knack for Potions!” Slughorn winked at her. Greengrass remained red and silent.

At Slughorn's leisurely pace, roll took almost half of class. Slughorn glossed quickly over Remus, but chatted a bit with Peter whose parents, Sirius learned, were well-respected Healers who Slughorn had brewed for on occasion. He also had a lively exchange with James, who charmed him as much, apparently, as his father had when he was in Slughorn's class.

Sirius managed to pay enough attention to put faces to the names of the remaining two Gryffinor first-years, Mary Macdonald and Dorcas Meadowes.

If nothing else, at least I've learned that much this period, he thought to himself.

“We'll start today with something nice and safe, and something that I daresay many students at Hogwarts have found quite useful!” Professor Slughorn said, winking at them. “We'll be brewing in pairs, two to a cauldron. Pull out your books and turn to the Wideye Potion. Now, who can tell me what this potion does? Yes, Miss Evans?”

“The Wideye Potion keeps you awake, and can also be used to revive someone who's unconscious,” Evans said. Sirius saw Remus taking notes next to him.

“Excellent! A point for Gryffindor, Miss Evans. You'll see a lot of Wideye Potions going around during finals season, so it's best to make sure you brew it carefully! Of course, you don't want to take it too late at night, or you'll find yourself unable to sleep! I'll be coming around to help out, but today I mostly want to see what you all can do with just the instructions in the book and your own gut instincts.”

“This could come in really handy,” muttered James as they gathered ingredients.

“You could start waking up early and having breakfast with Remus,” suggested Sirius.

“I like my sleep schedule fine. It'd be a right pain to accidentally drink a bunch of this stuff at dinner, wouldn't it?” James was grinning, and Sirius was quick to return it.

He returned to his seat next to Remus, who was carefully looking through the instructions. Sirius sorted through the ingredients and laid them out on their table. He liked how hands-on potion brewing was. His hands felt seeped in magic as he picked up each item.

“I'll start grinding the snake fangs,” said Remus. Sirius nodded and pushed them over to him. He took a look at the recipe himself, and started measuring out portions from his standard ingredients kit.

He watched Remus out of the corner of his eye. He was completely focused on the task at hand, his brow furrowed in concentration.

His face is going to be stuck like that one day, Sirius thought to himself. He looked across the table at James and Peter, who had already added things to their cauldron and had, apparently, already messed up their potion.

“Look,” Sirius said softly to Remus, “finally something that doesn't come naturally to James.”

It was true. So far, James had been able to complete any magical task thrown his way. Sirius swore he could feel the magical power rolling off of their friend. Remus, Sirius had noticed, was also able to do anything that had come up in class, but seemed to require a lot more focus and precision than James did.

Remus caught his eye and grinned. “You can't brew a potion on brute force alone, I guess.” Sirius snorted.

“All right, class,” said Slughorn. “Once you've finished up your first step, you may clean your stations and take your leave. Remember to return in eight hours to complete the potion, and leave a vial on my desk with your names.”

Sirius looked back at their potion. Maybe it didn't have exactly the opalescant sheen that the book described, but he could feel that the ingredients were blending together nicely, and he was fairly confident it'd be passable. Slughorn gave them an approving nod as he passed by, before moving on to James and Peter, whose potion seemed to have turned into a thick,black goo.

“Oh my,” he said. “What happened here, gentlemen?”

“Not completely sure, sir,” said James, flashing a grin. “I guess we have a lot to learn from you this year.”

Slughorn clapped him on the back with a smile and moved on.

“You're not measuring your ingredients properly,” Remus remarked. “You have to level them off in the spoon in order to get them exact.”

“Couldn't have told us that at the beginning of the class, Remus?” asked Peter, looking sadly into their cauldron. Remus shrugged.

“It was in the book. I thought you'd've read it.”

“Rule number one, Remus: assume Pete and I have never read anything,” James told him.

Sirius was watching Slughorn's progress around the room. He could hear him telling Evans and Snape that their potion was perfect, but when he moved on to Greengrass and Macdonald, his expression changed to one of disappointment.

“Guess Greengrass didn't inherit her father's infamous potion skills after all,” he observed. The others followed his gaze to look over at the table in question.

“It is odd, isn't it?” said Peter. “I thought Lord Greengrass personally tutored his daughter and his nephews in Potions.”

“Well, I heard the Potters had a fairly decent set of tutors as well, and yet, here we are,” said Sirius, gesturing to the failed potion.

“Bugger off,” said James without malice.

“Right away,” Sirius agreed. “Remus and I are all set here. See you blokes in the common room, if the fumes from that thing don't kill you first.”

* * *

Remus let Sirius talk him into walking out by the lake, figuring that they had a couple weeks, at most, until the air turned bitterly cold.

“You fly at all?” Sirius asked, and Remus saw that he was looking out towards the Quidditch pitch, where they could see a couple figures flying above the stands.

“Never really got the hang of it,” Remus admitted. “Plus, my mum's a Muggle, and I don't think she ever really fully believed that brooms were safe. You?”

“Yeah. Not much space at our house in London, but we've got a proper manor with ground that we usually holiday at. It's a relief to be able to go outside when it all becomes, you know, too much.”

Sirius bit his lip, as if he'd said something he hadn't meant to.

“Too much what?” Remus asked carefully.

“Too much of the blood purity nonsense.”

“Ah.” That seemed to be as much as Sirius wanted to say on that subject. “Think you'll try out for Quidditch next year?”

“Nah. Not a big fan of playing it, really. Have to focus on things like other players and scoring goals, and I all I ever really want to do is fly around at full speed. I'll probably bring my broom, though.”

“Not the competitive type?”

Sirius shrugged. “Only when it's something exciting.”

Remus thought that having Bludgers hit at you while you fly high above the ground on a single piece of wood was plenty exciting, but he decided not to say that out loud.

A breeze blew at their robes, and Remus inhaled deeply. The full moon was coming up that weekend, and he felt as though he could smell every creature in the Forbidden Forest at the moment. He hated that his first transformation was happening right on the heels of his first week of school, but part of him was also glad to get it out of the way so he could stop obsessing over it.

Remus came out of his thoughts to see Sirius watching him closely.

“What?” Remus was feeling suddenly self-conscious.

“Nothing,” said Sirius, quickly looking away.

Remus said nothing. He knew what was coming, had been waiting for it ever since he caught James examining his face on the Hogwarts Express.

“Where'd you get all those scars from?”

There it was. Even though they hadn't known each other very long, Remus was not surprised that Sirius was unable to keep the question to himself.

“Accident when I was little.” He hoped Sirius would let him leave it at that, let it live as a not-quite-lie.

He was relieved when Sirius nodded. They walked in silence for a few more moments before Peter and James caught up to them, and they went back inside.

–

Remus had spent the past eight hours trying to think of an airtight excuse for why he couldn't touch the wolfsbane they needed to add to their potion for the second step, but everything that came to mind sounded insufficient. Of course it was in the very first potion Slughorn had asked them to brew.

Luckily, all his worrying seemed to be for nothing.

“Gloves on, boys,” said Professor Slughorn, who was sitting at his desk when they entered the dungeon. “Wolfsbane's highly toxic, don't want to risk anyone having a reaction.” Remus was sure he didn't imagine the way the professor's eye lingered on him just a little longer than necessary.

Even so, Remus was overly cautious. He held his breath as he pulled the leaves off a spring of wolfsbane, while Sirius took care of the second. He was fairly certain he'd have to touch the damn plant in order for anything bad to happen, but studies of the effects of wolfsbane on werewolves in human form were limited. He didn't want to take any chances, especially this close to the full moon.

“All right, Remus?” asked Peter from across the table. Remus was adding the leaves to the potion with his arm fully extended and his face turned away from the cauldron.

“Brilliant, thanks,” said Remus. “Er, I just have over-sensitive skin. Better safe than sorry, right?”

“Right,” said Peter, frowning slightly.

Once they'd completed the potion, he bottled it up while Sirius cleaned up their station. When Remus finally removed his gloves, he washed his hands three times. He looked up to see the other boys watching him.

“What?” he asked defensively.

“Are you a germaphobe or something?” James asked.

“Oh. No, not really. More of a hypochondriac, actually. If I get the slightest bit of red on my skin, I'll be sure I'm dying from wolfsbane exposure and start bequeathing you lot all my stuff.”

“Brilliant, I could use about 50 more jumpers,” joked Sirius.

“The only thing of any value I have is my books, anyway.”

“I'll stick with the jumpers,” said Sirius.

* * *

When Remus opened his eyes, he saw Madam Pomfrey patching up his leg.

The damage was a little worse than usual – probably the wolf adjusting to the new space – but Remus grinned anyway. He'd done it. He'd survived a full moon at Hogwarts. Being a student there finally started to feel real.

“Remus, dear, how are you feeling?”

“Fine, Madam Pomfrey.” He glanced around the room. It seemed to have been made from tougher stuff than his cellar; the wolf's claws hadn't done any damage to the walls or floor.

He groaned and turned his head the left, stretching his neck. The more conscious he became, the more he was noticing how cold and uncomfortable the floor was. He tried to imagine he was back in his dorm, wrapped in a blanket with a mug of hot chocolate.

As he rolled his head to the right, he froze. Sitting right in front of him was a blanket, an exact replica of the ones on the beds in the Gryffindor dorms.

“Madam Pomfrey,” he said slowly, “did you bring me that blanket?” He knew she hadn't.

“No,” she said, looking up at it and frowning. “Where did that come from?”

Remus propped himself up on his elbows and wrapped the blanket around himself.

No hot chocolate, though, he thought, trying to puzzle out exactly how the room worked.

“That's you set, then,” said Madam Pomfrey after a few moments. “Let's get you down to the Hospital Wing so I can keep an eye on you while you rest up.”

Remus followed her out. He paused outside of the door, briefly putting his palm against it.

Thank you, he thought.

He had the distinct sense that the room bristled with pride in response.

* * *

Remus hadn't come back to the dorm last night, and he hadn't been in classes all morning. All three of the others were starting to worry about him.

“We've got Transfiguration this afternoon,” said James as they made their way towards the Great Hall for lunch. “Let's ask McGonagall if she knows anything.”

“Shouldn't we tell someone now? What if he's actually missing?” Sirius said, biting on a hangnail.

As they reached the doorway, however, Peter spotted a familiar head of golden hair at the Gryffindor table.

“No need, lads – look.”

Soon, they were rushing to join Remus.

“Where've you been?” asked James at the same time that Sirius let out a low, “Bloody hell.”

Peter was inclined to agree. Remus looked exhausted. His face seemed paler than normal, and there were noticeable bags under his eyes.

“Mum's sick,” he said, not looking up from his plate. “Went home to see her.”

“Is she okay?” asked Peter cautiously, unsure what sort of Muggle disease could have resulted in Remus apparently getting no sleep.

“She's fine right now. Comes and goes.” Remus tucked into a chicken leg, and Peter noticed that there was already an impressive pile of chicken bones on his plate. Well, fair enough. Eating more could come from the exhaustion or emotional distress.

“We missed you in Charms, Remus. It took James a few tries to get the spell right this week, would've loved to see you show him up,” said Sirius.

“Lend me your notes and I'll see what I can do,” said Remus.

The other three looked at each other. None of them took notes that would be up to Remus's standards. But they all obligingly searched through their bags and came up with about 10 inches of notes between the three of them.

Remus sighed as he flipped through them. “Which of you drew this caricature of Professor Flitwick?”

“It's good, right?” said James by way of response.

“It's not bad. Sirius, I take it the one with the creepy eyes sketched in the margins is yours?”

“Yeah,” said Sirius. Peter thought he looked almost embarrassed, for some reason.

“You two can have yours back. I'll just copy Pete's.” Peter felt a quick surge of pride at that, but it faded quickly as he remembered the ease with which James and Sirius mastered new spells, decent notes or not.

* * *

Remus went to bed early that night. Sirius stayed down in the common room with James and Peter, holding hushed conversations about their friend's well-being.

“She must be really sick,” James speculated. “It's not even a week into classes.”

“He lives with both parents, yeah? It's not like she's home alone, is it?” said Peter.

“I think so,” said Sirius. “Merlin. Wish I knew the first thing about Muggle medicine.”

“We could ask one of the other Muggleborns,” suggested James. Sirius shook his head.

“We can't go around talking to other people about Remus's mum. I doubt he'd appreciate that.”

They went up to bed not much later, feeling rather down about the whole thing.

As he got into bed , Sirius removed the glamour he'd cast over his skin that morning, and frowned. He'd woken up completely covered in cuts and bruises. But they seemed to be healing much faster than normal. The cuts were almost completely gone, and the bruises were all but faded.

He fell asleep wondering if it was a good or a bad sign that his soulmate was healing faster.


	4. Chapter 3: Halloween

Remus had been so focused on the full moon coming up on November 2nd that he'd completely forgotten about Halloween until the others started plotting.

“This is our chance to really make a name for ourselves,” James insisted. “Everything we've been doing up until this point has been small-scale. Halloween is the perfect chance for some mischief.”

Remus didn't look up from his Herbology homework. He was trying to work ahead a bit so he wouldn't be swamped after the transformation next week.

“It's gotta be on theme, right?” said Sirius. “Something spooky, like ghosts? Or related to jack-o-lanterns? Or something to do with fancy dress?”

“Can we make all the other Houses dress up like lions?” suggested Peter.

“Maybe we could bewitch the jack-o-lanterns to make fun of people,” mused James.

"Ooh, I know, it should be something about vampires!" said Sirius. "They're very popular in Muggle horror films recently."

"What's a film?" asked James.

"How do you know what's popular with Muggles?" asked Remus.

Sirius waved away the questions, caught up in his plan. "Imagine if we could get the entire school to just...spontaneously transfigure into bats for a few seconds. Everyone would get a chance to fly and use echolocation, which would be cool, and there'd be bats everywhere!"

"I like it," James grinned. "Remus?"

"Isn't human transfiguration painful?" said Remus.

"Not at all! I have an uncle who's an Animagus, he said it's just a bit strange to suddenly be a different shape," said Peter.

Remus frowned. He'd always thought that his transformations were painful because there was no other way to transform. He'd have to come back to that later.

"Do you want everyone to turn into bats at once, or randomly throughout the day?"

"Throughout the day." Sirius was practically bouncing with excitement now that they were properly plotting.

"Okay." Remus hated to admit it, but he liked the idea. It would be a fun puzzle to figure out. "Pete, can you find out more about what sort of protections are on the castle? Other than Apparition, are there any other spells that can't be cast on the grounds? And is it possible to add to the enchantments on the castle itself? Start with Binns, he's way less suspicious than McGonagall. Maybe see if any portraits will help.

"Sirius and James, can you do some recon for now? Go take note of what places in the castle get a lot of foot traffic. And, if you can, note anything that people touch or bump into frequently. I'm not sure if we'll need physical contact for something like this."

The three of them nodded.

"You'll be in the library, then, Remus?" confirmed James.

“I was thinking of finally getting my homework done while you lot are out of the dorm.”

“Hilarious, Remus.” Sirius rolled his eyes. “We'll go do all your dirty work. Let us know when you've come up with your master plan.”

* * *

On October 30th, the group found themselves sneaking around to the most-used stairways in the castle. Sirius thought it was pretty clever of James and him to suggest enchanting the bannisters, since it was practically impossible to get through a day at Hogwarts without touching one. However, the really genius bit had been pure Remus.

“The theory was a bit complex, but the magic shouldn't be that difficult,” he had explained to them earlier in the day. “Essentially, James and Sirius will cast a transfiguration spell that will be activated whenever someone touches the bannister, and I'll modify it so that there's a random delay of between 1-30 seconds so that it takes longer for people to figure out what's causing the transfiguration. And I've also set it so that if you were transfigured within the past hour, it won't affect you again.”

Sirius wouldn't pretend that he completely understood how it worked, and he didn't think that James or Peter did, either, but he knew that it was perfect for what they wanted to do.

And so while Peter kept lookout, James and Sirius would set up the transfiguration on the selected bannisters, and Remus would add in his modifications. Sirius drew the short straw for being the guinea pig, so he took a deep breath and placed his hand on the railing.

For several seconds, nothing happened while the others just stared at him.

“Has it been thirty –“

The rest of his question came out as a shriek as he shrunk. His vision faded to black, and he beat his wings – when did he get wings? – frantically and proceeded to bump into a wall.

Just as he thought he was starting to figure out echolocation, he turned back to his human body and landed sprawled on the stairs.

“It worked!” Sirius heard James whoop when he had his hearing back.

“You all right, mate?” asked Remus, grinning. Sirius grinned back.

“That was brilliant.”

* * *

Once all the bannisters had been charmed, the group was too hyper to go back to bed. Instead, they grabbed the candy they had stashed in their dorm and headed out to the grounds to sit by the lake and celebrate their genius.

“We'll definitely get away with it,” James said. “They'll never suspect first years of something this complex. He looked around at his three friends, enjoying the moment

“We'll have to top this next year,” said Peter.

“Better get started on a plan now, then, eh, Remus?” said Sirius.

They glanced over at their fourth friend to find him nodding off against a tree.

“He's been looking bad again lately,” Peter murmured.

James nodded. “Do you reckon it's his mum again?”

“Hasn't said anything about her to me,” said Sirius.

“Me neither.”

“Maybe he's the one who's sick?” suggested Peter.

“Why wouldn't he tell us, though?” asked Sirius.

“Maybe they're both sick. Maybe it's hereditary,” speculated James.

They studied Remus in silence for a few minutes.

“Well. We should probably wake him up and head back to the dorm,” Sirius said.

Just then, James heard footsteps. He whipped his head around to see Filch striding towards them.

“Uh-oh.”

* * *

30 points each was well worth it, Sirius thought the next day as he watched a pair of third-year Hufflepuffs sprout wings and shrink down into bats.

James had been right. Nobody really believed they could have done it. Even though McGonagall and Filch knew the four of them had been out of bed last night, they didn't really suspect them of this prank. McGonagall had conduted a cursory interrogation earlier in the day, and Sirius was almost disappointed by how quickly she had ruled them out.

The prank really was truly brilliant, and Sirius was itching for them to get credit for it. It had taken the professors half the day to figure out that the enchantment had been placed on the bannisters, and they still hadn't worked out how to remove it yet. Sirius and his friends had found an alcove behind a statue to let them watch the professors as they worked on it, which involved one of the professors testing the bannister every so often to see if their measures had been successful. None of them had imagined how much fun it would be to watch Professor Slughorn transform into a bat when they'd originally plotted this prank.

“I love Halloween,” whispered James. Sirius couldn't help but agree.


	5. Chapter 4: Needles into Matchsticks

James, Peter, and Sirius walked into the common room one chilly November morning to find Lily Evans glaring at them.

“Where's Remus?” she asked.

Sirius fell back a step towards the staircase to the boys' dormitories and felt James and Peter do the same on either side of him. He wasn't sure exactly when they had all taken on the role of Remus's protector, but here they all were, guarding their dorm as if Evans was about to lay siege to it.

“Why do you need to know?” Sirius asked through narrowed eyes.

Lily huffed. “He wasn't in class yesterday, and he never came down to breakfast. I got worried.”

The truth was the Remus's health had gotten steadily worse since Halloween. He had once again vanished to visit his mother, and hadn't left bed since he'd returned the previous afternoon.

“He's fine,” said Sirius.

“You can have breakfast with us, Evans,” James offered. She turned to glare at him.

“It's nearly half-eight. I've already eaten.”

“Of course she has.”

Sirius looked over Evans's shoulder to see Meadowes and Macdonald approaching. The Gryffindor girls hadn't bonded in the same way that their male counterparts had. Meadowes and Macdonald seemed to get on well enough, but Evans and Greengrass both tended to spend their time alone.

“Lily always gets up at the crack of dawn for breakfast so she has time to study before class,” Meadowes said, rolling her eyes. “She can't bear the thought of eating with any of us.”

Evans's face was flushing red. Sirius exchanged a bewildered glance with James. Was the animosity between the Gryffindor girls due to breakfast habits?

“Let Remus know I'll be in the library, if he'd like to join me,” Evans said, not acknowledging Meadowes or Macdonald. She left the common room in a huff.

“Never mind her,” said Macdonald. “Come on, we'll eat with you lot.”

Sirius glanced back towards the staircase that led up to their dorm. Part of him felt like he should stay behind to watch over Remus, but he was fairly confident that Remus would be furious with him if he skipped breakfast and first period just to...what, watch Remus sleep?

Sirius shook his head and followed the rest of his year down to the Great Hall.

* * *

Lily felt much better once Remus was back at the Gryffindor table with her Friday morning. She had breathed a silent sigh of relief when he'd shown up halfway through Charms the day before, looking pale and tired but at least all in one piece.

Their heads were bent together over her notes from the classes he'd missed while she ate her toast and watched Remus consume three eggs, six sausages, a bowl of porridge, and three slices of toast with beans. Remus's appetite seemed to correlate to his mysterious disappearances, and she had no idea what that might mean.

“Lily.” She turned around to find Severus standing behind the two of them.

“Sev! Good morning.” Severus never came over to her table, claiming that the Slytherins would never let him live it down if he left his housemates to come over to Gryffindor.

“I see Lupin at least had the decency not to stand you up for the third morning in a row,” Severus sneered, pointedly not looking at Remus, who stiffened by her side. Lily frowned at Sev. She hadn't realized he was paying such close attention to who she ate with.

“He's been sick, Sev,” Lily replied. Truthfully, she and Remus never talked about his absences, but it was obvious from looking at him that he hadn't been well.

“Sick pretty often, isn't he?” said Severus, still not looking at Remus.

Lily wasn't sure she'd ever actually seen the two of them speak to each other. Most of the Slytherins and Gryffindors avoided each other, after all. But now that they were both right in front of her, she couldn't help but comparing the two of them. They both wore faded, frayed robes that suggested they'd been bought used. They were both incredibly smart and hard-working, which was why she liked being friends with both of them. But Severus seemed to be constantly seeking power to mask whatever weaknesses he thought he possessed, while Remus almost seemed to be purposefully fading into the background to mask....Lily blinked. She had been thinking that Remus's personality masked some sort of hidden power, but where had that thought come from?

“Be careful, Lily, that's all. Just because someone's a Gryffindor doesn't mean you can trust them,” Severus sneered.

Remus stood up abruptly and headed towards the door.

“Remus –“ Lily started to call after him, as Severus stepped directly into Remus's path.

Lily could see Sev's face over Remus's shoulder. As far as she could tell, Remus didn't do anything, but she saw fear register on Severus's face, followed by suspicion. Remus pushed past him.

“Sev? What happened?”

Severus sat next to her, gazing at her intently.

“Lily. I'm serious. Don't trust him, okay? I think he might be dangerous.”

“He's eleven. We all are.”

“You don't understand. There are things in this world – things that can look innocent, but turn on you at a moment's notice.”

Lily eyed him skeptically. “You don't like any of the Gryffindors.”

“This is different. Stay away from him, Lily. Please.”

Lily stood up. “You don't get to tell me who to be friends with, Severus.”

* * *

“Magic loves me,” Sirius said as they left the Transfiguration classroom after an especially grueling period. Sirius had been the only student to successfully turn his match into a needle and back again within the set time limits.

“You don't even understand the transformation formula!” Remus moaned. “I spent hours studying that, making sure I know the theory, and you just waltz in there, not having even finished the homework –“

“I'll have you know, I wrote exactly 10 inches –“

“Doesn't really count with handwriting that big, Sirius,” James joined in.

Peter tuned them out. Transfiguration was by far the hardest class, and listening to his three friends, who all had an easier time with it than him, complain about it only stressed him out.

Instead, he was focused on a figure ahead that had caught his eye. Iphigenia had bolted out of class and was making her way swiftly through the halls, but Peter was almost positive she seemed to be growing as she walked away. And was her hair getting darker?

Maybe it's some sort of effect from a bad transfiguration, Peter thought, slipping through the crowded hallway after her.

He thought her hair looked almost black as she ducked around a corner. He turned it behind her.

At first, the hallway looked empty, but then he noticed a figure leaning in the shadows next to a suit of armor.

“Iphigenia?” he called.

She moved into the light, and he frowned. She looked...well, normal. Her hair was its usual auburn, and she was definitely as short as she'd been last time he'd spoken to her.

“Are – is everything all right?” he asked, trying to recall exactly what he'd noticed in the hallway.

“Thought I dropped something here earlier,” she said.

“Oh. Do you need help looking?”

“No, I must have left it in the dorm. I – I'll just go check there, then.”

And with that, she brushed past him, and returned back into the hallway they'd just come from.

* * *

“Sounds like you're seeing things, mate,” Sirius said when Peter told them about his encounter with Iphigenia once they were all back in their dorm.

“It'd be a pretty odd spell that would just make her taller and her hair darker,” Remus mused.

“If I were that short, I'd try just about anything,” grumbled James, who was the shortest of the four of them.

“If you were that short,” Sirius repeated, grinning. James tossed a pillow at him.

“She was definitely lying, though. She wasn't in that hallway looking for something. I just don't understand what she could have been doing!” Peter flopped back onto his bed.

Remus was used to keeping secrets and masking suspicious behavior, and he had to agree that Peter's story definitely indicated something fishy was going on with Iphigenia.

“Maybe it was some girl thing,” James suggested, wrinkling his nose.

“Like what?” asked Sirius.

“Don't know, do I? That's what I'm saying. Girls do all sorts of odd things they won't tell boys about.”

Remus exchanged a glance with Peter to confirm that he wasn't the only one who thought that didn't really fit Iphigenia's actions.

“Maybe she's a space alien who's still learning how to act human, and she just slipped up,” said Sirius, clearly growing bored with the subject.

“Okay, you two restrain him, I'm going to break into his trunk and vanish all his Muggle magazines,” James said to Remus and Peter. Sirius threw James's pillow back, hitting its owner in the face.

“You wouldn't be able to vanish anything. You can't even turn a matchstick into a needle properly –“

With a war cry, James launched himself onto Sirius's bed. Iphigenia's strange behavior was soon forgot as Remus and Peter watched the other two wrestle on Sirius's bed until they tired themselves out.


	6. Chapter 5: Too Much Exposition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of introspection.
> 
> Or, First Year is mainly just a way to introduce information that will be vital to later years.

As Remus had started to get used to transforming at Hogwarts, he started to notice things that he was sure hadn't happened during his transformations at home.

When he came to after the full moon during the first week of December, he took a deep breath to concentrate on the sensations. He knew from his reading that there was a noticeable lack of research on werewolves, so he tried to treat his observations like academic experiments, as much as possible.

Of course, it was too risky for him to write anything down, so he had to rely on memory.

But he was fairly sure that he didn't feel the crackle of magic in the air after his transformations at home.

_Is that because of me, or the room?_

He forced himself to open his eyes. Madam Pomfrey was tending to an injury on his leg. He focused on asking the room for a blanket, just as he had ever since his first transformation in the castle, and he felt as much as saw the moment when it appeared.

He rubbed the fabric between his fingers. It felt exactly as he remembered the blanket on his bed feeling.

_What would happen if I take this blanket with me? Is the room Summoning it, or conjuring it somehow?_

The magic of the room fascinated him like nothing else did. It wasn't just that the room was secret and felt almost sentient; there was also something about the magic that felt familiar. He had never felt the room's presence anywhere else in the castle, but he was fairly sure that he'd felt the prickle of its particular magic at other times.

“All set, dear,” Madam Pomfrey said, bringing him back from his speculations. “Let's get you down to the Hospital Wing to rest, shall we?”

* * *

“Only ten schooldays left till the holidays, lads!” James said brightly as he sat down for breakfast. He grinned up at his three friends to find that none of them seemed to share his enthusiasm.

Remus gave him a small smile, but he still seemed tired from wherever he'd disappeared to the week before. Peter was glancing anxiously at Sirius, who was wearing the darkest expression James had ever seen on an eleven-year-old's face.

“All right there, Sirius?” James tried, cautiously.

“Fine,” Sirius said, stabbing at his sausages perhaps a little more aggressively than strictly necessary. James exchanged a bewildered look with Peter and Remus.

“You doing anything fun for the holiday, James?” asked Remus.

“Just staying home with my family,” James replied. The three of them were still watching Sirius, monitoring him for any changes in his mood. They'd only known each other for a few months, but James knew that it was strange for Sirius to be in a state like this without making it widely known what was upsetting him.

“The three of you are welcome to visit, you know,” James added, hoping that might cheer his best friend up.

“Oh, that'd be fun,” said Peter. “I might be able to swing by between Christmas and New Year's.”

“I can check,” said Remus. “With my mum's health and everything, it's hard to say.”

“Sirius?” James asked after a moment, when it was clear that Sirius didn't plan on volunteering his own availability.

He looked up for the first time since James had sat down.

“I can't,” Sirius said. “I expect I'll be busy sitting through stuffy dinners with distant relatives while my mother explains loudly exactly why it's my fault that I'm not in Slytherin.”

And with that, Sirius pushed his plate away and was gone before any of them could think of a response.

“Bit dramatic, yeah?” said Remus, nervously. “His parents can't really be that upset that he's in Gryffindor. They've had a few months to adjust to it.”

“I don't know,” said Peter slowly, still frowning at the door that Sirius had left through. “I'd always head things about the Blacks...” He turned to look at James.

“Yeah,” James agreed, swallowing. “Once I met Sirius, I thought it was all exaggerated. But maybe....”

He locked eyes with Peter, not wanting to finish the thought.

But maybe the rest of the Blacks were every bit as crazy as James had always been told.

* * *

Remus wasn't entirely sure how he felt about the upcoming winter holidays.

He had vague memories from the years before he'd been bitten of a room with high ceilings, a big tree covered in lights, and piles of presents, and watching the Christmas decorations come to life around Hogwarts was bringing those memories up for the first time in years.

But most of his Christmas memories took place in the smaller house that his family had moved to after he had been bitten, after his father had transferred to a desk job within the Ministry and the spare money they did had went to experimental treatments and accommodations for Remus's transformations.

There was something about the holidays that brought up mixed feelings of love and guilt in the Lupin household. There was no doubt that the three of them loved each other, but whenever he thought of what their life was like before he was bitten, he couldn't help but feel guilty for how much of their resources were spent on him now. And he saw that guilt reflected in his father's face. He knew his father blamed himself for the attack on his son.

“I'll explain when you're older,” his mother had told him when he'd asked her about why, exactly, he'd been bitten in their backyard.

And so, out of love for each other, they all pretended. Remus pretended his transformations didn't hurt as much as they did. His parents pretended they weren't as disgusted and afraid of him as they were. They all pretended that the bite hadn't changed anything between them.

And it wasn't as if Remus wasn't pretending just as much while he was at Hogwarts. He was pretending to be normal every second of every day.

But with James, Peter, and Sirius, it was different. They weren't pretending in their interactions with each other. Even though Remus knew that their attitudes towards him would change if they ever found out his secret, he also knew that their smiles for him were genuine, that their friendships weren't surrounded by unspoken _what if_ s.

It was strange, really. Going home for the holidays meant that he wouldn't have to hide his transformations anymore. But instead, he'd have to go back to hiding his feelings, and some days, that seemed worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really one for author's notes, but I just wanted to let you all know:  
> I do have the rest of this fic plotted out, so I'm hoping to finish Year 1 in the not-too-distant future, because I have a lot more written of later years that I am eager to get to. So bear with me through this one, and I expect updates will be more frequent and meatier in the future!


	7. Chapter 6: Christmas

They put off giving each other presents until they were on the train to Kings' Cross for the holidays.

James had insisted on it. The three of them had each been trying to cheer Sirius up in the run-up to the holidays. Remus had been proofreading his homework with a constant stream up positive energy. Peter had taught himself to watch for the tiniest flags in Sirius's expression and change the subject to more upbeat topics. And James had been trying to create traditions of their own to make up for...well, for whatever it was that Sirius was dreading so much about going home.

They had all gone out on all the gifts for their first Christmas together, but Peter could tell from the anxious looks on the others' faces that he was not the only one who had put extra effort into his gift for Sirius.

Peter had had friends growing up, and he had a family that he loved, but neither of them were really quite the same as the fierce loyalty that he felt towards the other Gryffindor boys, which was made only stronger by the fact that he knew the feeling was returned. It was clear in the way that they all took more detailed notes on the days Remus was absent; in the way they'd all gladly take detention for a scheme that nobody but James wanted anything to do with; and in the way that any of them would gladly stay up late on a school night to help Peter understand a particularly complicated spell or theory so he could finish an essay. They weren't trying to help Sirius out of pity. They were trying to help him because it hurt each one of them to think that they might not be able to.

“These are amazing, Peter,” Sirius said as he flipped through the Muggle tabloids that he'd unwrapped. “Where did you even get these?”

Peter shrugged, pleased. “I have a cousin who's a Squib who picked them up for me. But she was very insistent that I explain to you that most Muggles don't believe any of that rubbish, and that the clerk gave her a very odd look when she bought so many of them.”

“They're brilliant.”

Years later, Peter wouldn't be able to recall what gifts he received on that train ride. But he always remembered the way the tension faded from Sirius's face as he unwrapped a tiny Muggle model motorcycle that Remus had enchanted to move on its own, or the mirror that James had insisted he open last.

“It's a two-way mirror,” he explained eagerly. “I have the other one. If you say my name into it, we'll be able to talk to each other through them.”

“You mean I'll have to see your ugly mug instead of my own gorgeous reflection when I use this thing?”

James threw a wad of wrapping paper that Sirius dodged, laughing.

“Honestly, mate. This is amazing. I've never seen one of these before.”

But by the time they'd reached London, that laughter had long since faded.

“Do you want us to...walk you over to them, or something?” James offered, following Sirius's line of sight out the window to where a woman and a boy who were unmistakably Blacks stood.

“No,” said Sirius, eyes flickering to each of them. “No offense, but my mother's not especially fond of the Potters, the Pettigrews, or half-bloods.”

Peter saw Remus flinch, but he smoothed his face back to neutral almost immediately.

“Well. Happy Christmas, then,” sighed Sirius, pulling his trunk down from the overhead compartment.

“You'll write, yeah?” asked Remus.

“I'll try.”

“Take care of yourself, Sirius,” said Peter.

“Don't forget about the mirrors. We can talk every day, if you want,” said James, squeezing Sirius's shoulder.

“Right.”

The three of them stayed behind as Sirius left. They watched his progress through the window, trying to seem as though they weren't staring. Sirius's mother's face twisted into an ugly expression as she caught sight of Sirius. Once he'd reached her, she held her hand out, saying something they couldn't hear. They watched Sirius slowly unwind his Gryffindor scarf and hand it over to her. With a snap of her fingers, it vanished. Then she was pulling Sirius towards the exit, with the little boy following closely behind them.

Sirius didn't look back towards them once.

* * *

“Sirius...”

Sirius looked over his shoulder and grinned at his brother.

“Hey, Reg.”

“What are you doing?”

“Redecorating.”

“They won't let you keep any of it up, you know.”

Sirius looked around his room. He quite liked the way it looked in red and gold.

“I'll put more up over the summer.”

“They'll start searching your stuff when you come home.”

“I'll transfigure it all, then.”

“Come on, Sirius. They're going to be _furious_.”

“Maybe they'll lock me in here and I won't have to go to another of those stupid dinners.”

Regulus gave him a pitying look. Sirius hated when he did that. It bothered him that his younger brother could make him feel like such a child.

“I bet when you get into Slytherin next year they'll throw a fucking parade.”

“You set the bar so low. I should be thanking you, really.”

Sirius grinned. “I've been saying that for years.”

“Come on. We have to go down for dinner. Even men on death row get a last meal, you know.”

Sirius took a glance in the mirror before following Regulus downstairs. He didn't actually fancy being murdered by his parents on sight. Seemed like it'd put a downer on Christmas Eve.

Every year, his mother invited “everyone worth knowing,” as she put it, to their house for dinner. It was a real who's who of bigoted dark wizards.

Sirius scanned the crowded lounge as he stepped into it. His eye caught on a head of dark curls, and his heart panged a moment later when he realized that he was looking at Bellatrix, not Andromeda. It'd been almost two years since she'd been disowned, and part of him had never stopped seeking her out when he entered a room full of Blacks.

Bellatrix was with her new fiance, Rudolphous Lestrange, who were walking around the room with abhorrently smug expressions on their face. It only took another moment for Sirius to pick out Narcissa, who was laughing as she clutched the arm of Lucius Malfoy. The two of them were fifth years at Hogwarts, but Sirius had managed to avoid them at school, so far. He was pretty certain that they were no more eager to run into him than he was them.

Sirius was almost sickened with how easily he was able to identify the others in the room: the Averys, the Parkinsons, the Flints, and a half-dozen other families whose lineages had been beaten into his head as a child. Surely there was something better he could be using that brain space for.

As his eyes fell on the Greengrasses, he felt a bit surprised to see Iphigenia with them. This was the first year they'd brought her.

Sirius made her way over to her. They never spoke much at Hogwarts, but, as the only other Gryffindor in the room, he immediately felt a sense of kinship with her.

“Iphigenia,” he called as he approached her. She turned around, hand already outstretched, smiling the type of smile that only those who've spent hours spent learning the proper way to conduct itself ever bother to smile.

“It's Jeanie, please,” she said.

“Oh. I've never heard anyone call you that before.”

Her smile froze. “Well. It hasn't quite caught on at Hogwarts yet.”

“I didn't know you were going to be here. Nice to see at least one face that doesn't scowl in disgust when I walk by.”

She laughed at that, light and easy. Sirius was suddenly struck by the thought that he hadn't ever heard her laugh before.

“If it were up to me, I probably would have stayed home, to be honest. No offense.”

“None taken. If it were up to me, I'd probably have rather spent the evening at the bottom of the Great Lake.”

“I imagine the food's better here.”

“Don't know, I'm rather fond of seaweed.”

This was easily the longest conversation he'd ever had with her. At Hogwarts, he'd always thought she was rather aloof. Sure, the fact that she was in Gryffindor showed she didn't mind splitting with tradition, but there was something about her body language here that showed how eager she was to separate herself from the others in the room. It was an energy he recognized all too well.

“That's your brother, right?” she asked, gesturing towards Regulus.

“Yes, that's him. The savior of the Black line, if you haven't heard.”

She grinned again. “Takes some of the pressure off of you, doesn't it?”

“I prefer to think that I vomited the pressure onto him the moment they tried to force feed me Family Tradition as a baby.”

“Naturally.”

“You're an only child, correct?” He knew she was. The matter of the next Head of the Greengrass family was a huge matter of discussion among his family. Her father had a brother who took any opportunity presented to loudly comment on how well-suited any of his children would be to running the family if, Merlin forbid, anything happened to Iphigenia. “Talk about pressure.”

She shrugged. “In some ways, sure. The entire family is watching to see if I'll mess up. But in other ways, there's all sorts of smaller things that my parents let me get away with because they can't afford not to.”

“You're really different from how I thought you were, Jeanie.”

For a split second, he thought her expression froze again.

“School just brings out a different side of me, I suppose.”

Before he could think of a response, an odd sight caught his eye: his mother was smiling at him. She was chatting with Lord Greengrass, and they both seemed to be nodding approvingly towards him and Iphigenia.

“Don't look now, but I think we've just been betrothed.”

Iphigenia grinned at him. “Don't take it too personally, but I think my father's in marriage conversations with just about every family in the Sacred Twenty-Eight.”

“That's probably for the best. Wouldn't want to get your hopes up, after all; I've taken a solemn vow to never wed.”

“Shame. I imagine I'll end up with Rowle, then.” She waved flirtatiously across the room to the current Rowle bachelor, who Sirius was pretty sure was nearing forty. He snorted.

“Wise choice. I wish you both eternal happiness.”

–

It was late when Sirius was finally able to leave the party and close himself back up in his room. He wasn't sure how the Potters celebrated the holiday, but he couldn't imagine James going to bed early on Christmas Eve, so he pulled out his mirror.

“Sirius? Everything okay?”

“Yeah. But listen, Iphigenia was at dinner tonight, and it was honestly weird.”

* * *

Iphigenia was furious with herself by the end of the evening. How had she spent the whole time talking to Sirius Black? She had planned on carefully avoiding him.

She paused outside the door to her own bedroom and continued down the hall instead. She knocked on a different door, and paused only briefly before slipping into the room.

“I think we might have a problem.”


	8. Chapter 7: New Friendships

Only Remus Lupin, Lily decided, could come back from Christmas break looking worse than he had before it.

It was starting to frustrate her. She liked Remus, she really did, and he was completely entitled to his privacy, of course. But it was obvious he was keeping a secret from her, and she was worried about him, and it was a bit exhausting to feel like her only friend in Gryffindor didn't trust her.

It was during breakfast on their first day back, while she watched him doze off while staring into his porridge, that she made a belated resolution to herself to make more of an effort to get on with the girls in her year.

For all the talk she heard around Gryffindor about how Slytherins were bigots and Gryffindors were infinitely more accepting of Muggles, she'd noticed that the lot of them were, overall, rubbish at interacting with Muggleborns.

She'd tried to befriend Mary, the only other Muggleborn Gryffindor in their year, at the start of term. But all the things that frustrated Lily about wizarding culture didn't seem to bother Mary at all, and before she knew it, Mary had gotten close to Dorcas and had joined the group who gave Lily odd looks whenever she pointed out how confusing some things were.

For example, she still hadn't received a satisfactory answer as to why witches and wizards all used quills instead of pens.

“It's probably some pure-blood prejudice,” Mary had speculated when Lily first brought it up. “You know, not wanting to use Muggle devices.”

“But quills were once Muggle devices, too. That'd be such an arbitrary line to draw. Are wizards going to start sleeping on the ground once they realize Muggles all use beds?”

But half the year had gone by now. She was more settled, more used to wizarding ways – or, at least, she hoped she was. Surely there had to be something else she and her dorm-mates could bond over.

* * *

Mary felt free in ways she couldn't describe when she was at Hogwarts.

Her holidays had been fairly dull. She tried to explain her family's Christmas traditions to Dorcas, who was fascinated by the idea of midnight Mass. But she couldn't explain the way that her being a witch had irrevocably changed her family life. While Professor McGonagall had managed to convince Mary's family to let her attend Hogwarts, it had come after years of her family praying over every odd thing that happened around her. When she was younger, her parents had whispered that she might be possessed; now, they worried that she might be deliberately choosing an un-Godly path.

Mary had brought her Bible with her to Hogwarts, and she had yet to find any reason that her magic and her religion couldn't co-exist.

And being at Hogwarts gave her the space to figure that out for herself. It was clear to her that the constant judgments at home made it more likely that she'd perform unintentional magic.

So it was with relief that she walked into her room with Dorcas by her side after dinner on their first day back, although it was quickly replaced by confusion at the sight of Lily and Iphigenia sitting and laughing on Lily's bed.

“Oh!” exclaimed Iphigenia, looking up as they walked in. “Oh, Mary. You startled me.”

“Didn't mean to interrupt,” said Mary, looking at them curiously. Each of the two of them kept mostly to themselves, so it was interesting to see them talking together now. “Everything all right?”

“Oh, yes. Lily's just been telling me some Muggle jokes.”

Lily grinned. “I want to hear some traditional wizarding jokes next. I can't believe knock-knock jokes haven't made it into wizarding culture.”

“What's a knock-knock joke?” asked Dorcas.

“Really?” said Mary. “It's like the simplest form of a joke.” She turned to Lily. “Knock knock.”

“Who's there?”

“Boo.”

“Boo who?”

“Why are you crying? It's just a joke.”

Lily grinned and Iphigenia burst into giggles. She turned to Dorcas, who was watching them all bemusedly.

“Muggles really are odd, aren't they?”

Somehow, they ended up spending the rest of the evening trading jokes, until they found themselves trying to invent their own wizarding knock-knock jokes.

“The only ones I can think of are all owl-related,” grumbled Lily after they'd spent several moments in silence.

“Oh, good, me neither. I can't get past 'hoo who',” said Dorcas.

“I bet Potter and Black could come up with a few good ones,” said Mary. Lily rolled her eyes.

“Please. The only humor they like is so juvenile.”

“And knock-knock jokes are the height of maturity, are they?” teased Mary. Lily laughed.

Mary was startled to realize how well they were getting along. A few hours ago, she didn't think that Lily could ever laugh at her own expense. But now the four of them had found some tentative camaraderie, and Mary was finding that both the other two girls had great senses of humor. And here they were, talking about how different humor was in the wizarding and Muggle worlds, and Lily hadn't once gone off on a tangent about how backwards the magic world was.

That, Mary felt, was progress.

* * *

Dorcas was glad that the new year had somehow brought new friendships into her life, but she was also silently grateful that her original impressions of Lily and Iphigenia as a little bit odd were spot-on.

Lily did not get any less intense with time. She was every bit as intense and passionate about perceived injustices as Dorcas thought she was, but, what Dorcas hadn't realized before was how that translated into fierce loyalty in her friendships.

Dorcas learned this first-hand after spending the better part of lunch one day trying to explain the finer points of Quidditch to her.

“Are you going to try out for the team next year, then?” Lily asked.

“I think so. I'm not sure how good my chances are, though. My broom's a hand-me-down, and I know most people on the team right now have nicer ones.”

Lily's eyes narrowed in a way that was becoming increasingly familiar.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, just that nicer brooms cost more, and my family's not really in a position to get me a new one right now.”

“But each student has to supply their own broom?”

“Well, you could use one of the school brooms, I suppose, but they're all rubbish.”

“But everyone's on a different type of broom.”

“Right.”

“And better brooms are more expensive.”

“Yes.”

Dorcas could practically see steam pouring out of Lily's ears at this point.

“So, is it fair to say that the richer a team is, the better their chances at winning any given game?”

“I...guess you could say that.”

“That's outrageously classist, don't you think?”

“I guess I'd never really thought about it before.”

And before Dorcas knew what was happening, Lily was circulating a petition for Hogwarts to institute broom standardization in Quidditch games, meeting with the captains of the Quidditch teams, and was making banners for students to hold up at games themselves protesting the practice.

Iphigenia's strangeness was much harder for Dorcas to figure out, though. Part of her seemed to constantly be on edge, flinching at loud noises and triple-checking her schedule each day. But the other part of her seemed to be lost in some sort of daydream.

“Why has Black started calling you 'Jeanie'?” Dorcas asked her one day evening, frowning at the boy's back. Dorcas was pretty sure the nickname was a relatively new development. Iphigenia didn't seem to mind exactly, but it often took several tries before she realized someone was talking to her.

“Oh. I told him to.”

“You did? Why?”

Iphigenia fidgeted. “It's what everyone calls me at home.”

Dorcas frowned. “Would you like us to call you that?”

“If you like. I just was at his house over the holidays, and it seemed...”

“You were at Black's house? You never mentioned.”

Iphigenia was not looking at her. “It was just one in a series of boring dinner parties I had to go to with my parents. It didn't seem relevant.”

Dorcas scanned her face, trying to figure out what possibly could have happened at that dinner to make her so uncomfortable talking about it.

“Okay. Well, what's his house like?”

“Oh, you know. Big.”

“Big?”

“Big, lavish. Too many rooms, you know? A parlor and a sitting room and a lounge. Not that different from my house, really. If you've seen one of the Ancient Twenty-Eight's houses, you've seen them all.”

“Was he different in front of his family? Rude to you, or anything?” Dorcas asked, going for a different angle.

“We didn't really talk too much, but he was nice to me. Say, I think I left my bag back in the Great Hall. I'll meet you in the common room, okay?”

And before Dorcas could say anything, Iphigenia had run off.

“Dammit,” muttered Dorcas. She was going to have to talk to Sirius Black herself.

–

“Black,” Dorcas call as she approached the beech tree the Gryffindor boys had gathered under the following Saturday. She thought they must be idiots for hanging out outside in the freezing February weather, but at least she knew that they wouldn't be overheard.

“Meadowes,” he replied, sitting up and shaking snow out of his hair. “Have you come to make snow angels with us?”

“Don't say 'us' like you've convinced anyone else to roll around in the snow, Sirius,” grumbled Peter.

“I actually wanted to talk to you.”

They all stared at her.

“Okay,” Black said.

“Can we do this in private?”

Black shrugged. “If you like. I'm going to tell them all whatever you say either way.”

Dorcas sighed. She marched over to the blanket the other three were sitting on, and waited while they made space for her.

“It's about Iphigenia.”

Black blinked. “What about her?”

“She mentioned she went to your house over the holidays?”

“Is this about our impending betrothal?”

“What?” interrupted Lupin.

“He's joking,” said Potter. “He just means that his parents are trying to marry him off to a pure-blood.”

“Again: what?”

“Did something happen while she was there?” asked Dorcas, deciding it was easiest to ignore the rest of them. “Something more traumatic than having to contemplate marriage to you, I mean.”

Black frowned. “Did she say something? If she thought visiting my house was traumatic, tell her to try living there.”

Dorcas chose to ignore the looks that the other three were exchanging behind Black's back.

“No, she didn't say anything. She was weirdly cagey about the whole thing, in fact. Didn't even mention it until I asked her why you were calling her 'Jeanie.'”

“She told me to!”

“That's what she said. But why hasn't she asked any of the rest of us to?”

Potter was frowning. “Didn't you say she was acting really strangely that whole night, Sirius? Joking around with you and all?”

“Sure, but I thought it was just the holidays. Not like she's really talked to me much since we got back.”

“I just got a sense from her that something was weird about that night, but I can't figure out what,” said Dorcas.

“Look, if anything happened, I didn't see it. She seemed to be in a good mood the whole time I talked to her. But my house was full of unpleasant people and things that evening, so it's not totally out of the question.”

Dorcas sighed. “Okay. Well, thanks anyway, Black.”

Dorcas pondered the question as she made her way back to Gryffindor Tower. Maybe she was reading too much into the whole thing. She didn't know Iphigenia too well, after all. Still, she just had a feeling that something was up....

As if summoned by her speculation, the only person in the room when she got back was Iphigenia herself.

“Oh,” she said. “I didn't expect anyone back so soon.”

Dorcas had opened her mouth to reply when the door to the bathroom opened and a second Iphigenia walked out.

“Jeanie, we can't keep you here. Someone's bound to catch you--”

The second Iphigenia froze in her steps when she caught sight of Dorcas.

Dorcas blinked her eyes several times, but there were still two Iphigenias standing in front of her. 

“One of you better explain what in Merlin's name is going on here,” Dorcas said when she found her voice.


	9. Chapter 8: Iphigenia

Marlene McKinnon was conceived under a love potion.

Her mother, Maggie, was a Healer who specialized in childbirth. Her father was a wizard with a very sick, very pregnant wife, who paid handsomely for Maggie to live with the couple during the final trimester of his wife's pregnancy.

After a week of analyzing and observing, Maggie met with the wizard.

“I can save both of their lives,” she told him. “But at a cost. How much do you know about the development of the magical core during gestation?”

“Not much,” he admitted.

“Magic flows freely between the mother and the fetus throughout pregnancy,” Maggie explained. “The mother's magic is vital in feeding and nurturing the fetus's magical core. Every baby has that potential inside them, but it must be fed during the full nine months of pregnancy in order to develop strongly enough to become a witch or wizard. Otherwise, the child will be a Squib.”

She paused here as the wizard flinched at the word.

“In your wife's case, the flow of magic between her and the baby is feeding the illness. Normally, illnesses that feed off magic can be stopped easily, because a witch or wizard naturally keeps most of their magic in check. But, because of the pregnancy, the illness has unlimited access to your wife's magic. She and the baby will keep getting sicker and sicker unless we stop the flow of magic between them.”

“No.”

Maggie was not surprised. She knew whose house she was in; she knew the wizard would not accept the possibility that his heir might be born a Squib.

“No. Find another way.”

“There is no other way. Either I do this, or they both die.”

She was relieved that he flinched at that, as well.

“Then leave. I'll find another Healer who can--”

“There is no better Healer than me for this. We both know it.”

Something shattered behind her.

“I'll leave you to think about what you want to do, then,” Maggie said. As she closed the door behind her, she heard more shattering.

–

The next day, the wizard called her back into his office.

“No one can know,” he told her.

She nodded her understanding, and immediately left the room to perform the procedure.

–

Maggie sat in the quarters she'd been given that evening with a glass of fine elf-made wine. The procedure had gone off without a hitch, and she was confident that both the witch and the baby would regain their full physical health.

She looked around her rooms. The family didn't go in for gaudiness, thank Merlin. The house was large and spacious, but everything was decorated tastefully and elegantly. This was the type of wealth she'd always admired.

And now she knew something valuable. Something Lord Greengrass would surely do anything to keep secret.

–

Lord Greengrass did, in the end, give Maggie everything she'd been looking for: a permanent place to stay in the Greengrass estate, a child, and a comfortable life for herself and her daughter.

He called her to his office one day when his daughters were both ten.

“It is clear that you were correct; Iphigenia will never develop magic.”

She bowed her head, hiding a small smile.

“I begin to worry about the future of the Greengrass line.”

Maggie had been encouraging those worries for years. Surely he was about to – 

“Marlene will pose as Iphigenia through her time as Hogwarts, to allow us time to make a suitable match for Iphigenia.”

“I'm sorry, my Lord?”

“I will send her off with sufficient Polyjuice. It won't be easy, but I think you'll agree that it's quite necessary –“

“Necessary? What's necessary is that you name Marlene your heir! She is your only magical offspring!”

Lord Greengrass laughed.

“Maggie, my dear woman, surely you could not have thought that was a possibility? I cannot name a half-blood born out of wedlock as my heir. The family would never allow it. I'd lose my place as Head of the family immediately.”

Maggie brought herself up to her full height, glaring fiercely at Greengrass.

“Need I remind you, Ulysses, exactly how much I know about Iphigenia, and how eager you've been to keep me on your good side.”

His grin turned feral.

“You cannot seriously think you've outsmarted me, Maggie. Your plan was more cunning I'd expect from a Ravenclaw, I admit, but you can't expect that a Slytherin would fall prey to such a plan and stay at your mercy forever. If Iphigenia does not go to Hogwarts, her magical status will become obvious, and you will lose any power you had to begin with. Furthermore, if word got out that you used a Love Potion to trick a member of the Greengrass family into sleeping with a Mudblood, I imagine things would not go well for you.”

Maggie felt her blood run cold.

“It's really quite a generous offer. You and Marlene are allowed to continue living here, with all the comforts you have become accustomed to. In return, Marlene will attend Hogwarts as Iphigenia. Are we clear?”

“She's a child, Ulysses. You can't expect that she'll be able to – “

“I expect that _you_ will make it clear to her exactly what she must do, and what will happen if she doesn't.”

Maggie swallowed.

“Yes, Lord Greengrass.”

* * *

Iphigenia spent her whole childhood waiting to develop magic.

Her parents talked eagerly about Hogwarts. When her friend Marlene managed to escape her mother by turning herself invisible, nobody in the house could talk about anything else for weeks.

It wasn't until she was eight that she found out.

She'd been chatting excitedly with Marlene about her new magic, speculating on when her own would come in. Marelene's mum put down her knitting and turned to her with a sad look.

“Sweetheart, haven't your parents talked to you about your magic?”

Iphigenia frowned. “Of course. They've told me all about how strong and pure our family's magic is, and how I'll go to Hogwarts to learn how to control it.”

“Marlene,” Maggie said, “could you go play in the other room for a moment, dear? Give me a minute to talk to Jeanie.”

Once they were alone, Maggie sat down on the floor with her.

“Jeanie. I'm so, so sorry, dear. But I need to tell you the truth.”

And so Maggie told her about how her mum had been sick before Iphigenia was born, and how Maggie had to stop the magic in order to save them. Iphigenia left the room in tears, and ran to her own mother.

“Is it true?” she sobbed, flinging herself into her mother's arms. “Is it true that I'll never have magic?”

“Stop those tears, Jeanie. Look at me.”

Iphigenia sniffled until she could control herself and looked up.

“Yes, it's true that I was sick, and that Maggie had to sever our magical bond. But you listen to me. What are we?”

“Greengrasses,” Iphigenia replied immediately.

“Right. And we're stronger than you can imagine. Your magic will come in. I don't care if every Healer in the world says it's impossible. It might come in a little later than we'd like, but it will. There's no other option. Do you understand me?”

Iphigenia did understand. And older she got, the better she understood.

–

The year that Marlene went to Hogwarts was the most miserable of Iphigenia's life. Nobody could know that Iphigenia was living a non-magical life at home. She couldn't leave the house. She wasn't allowed to have any more sessions with her tutors. She couldn't see friends or go on walks or do anything.

Her parents wanted nothing to do with her. After years of hearing nothing but how strong their family was, and how excellent their magic was, her lack of it made her an outsider in her own home. Her father only talked to her to keep her updated on his plans for her marriage. She retaliated by working the word “Squib” into every conversation, just to watch his reaction. She had spent a good amount of time mourning her lack of magic, but these days, she was finding it much more satisfying to flaunt her magicless-ness in her parents' faces.

She could, however, still brew potions. Her father had given up on teaching her when it became clear that she wouldn't be attending Hogwarts, but the house was full of potions books. Brewing was the closest she ever got to having magic of her own. So she spent the year learning all sorts of useful potions, and somewhere along the way, realized she had made an escape plan without meaning to.

One of the nice things about being a Squib living in a wizarding house was that there were actually all sorts of magical things Iphigenia had access to that her family had forgotten she could use. All it really took was a simple Sleeping Draught, and owl, and a broomstick to get herself off the estate and headed towards Hogwarts, with instructions to Marlene to make sure she could get onto the grounds once she'd gotten there.

She had to ask a kind witch in Hogsmeade to walk her back to the grounds, pretending to have wandered off and gotten lost. She could feel the wards trying to turn her away as they would with any non-magical person, but once she'd adjusted to it, she was finally able to see the castle in all its glory.

And it ended up being simple, really: the wards recognized her when she stepped onto the grounds.

She felt like she was home.


	10. Chapter 9: The Darkness

“But that doesn’t make any sense,” Lily said once Marlene and Iphigenia had explained their situation to her and Mary, exactly Dorcas had expected her to. She was relieved the other girls were finally all caught up; she’d been completely overwhelmed to be the only one in on Marlene and Iphigenia’s secret.

“Sure it does,” said Iphigenia -- the real one -- with a pure blood haughtiness that Marlene had never quite mastered.

“No,” Lily insisted. “My mother’s a Muggle. How could all that stuff about the magical core being formed by an exchange of the mother’s and the baby's magic be true when there are still Muggleborns?”

Marlene and Iphigenia scared a smile. Dorcas felt a pang at how unfamiliar it was to her to see Iphigenia -- well, Iphigenia’s face -- dammit, either of them -- smile.

“My mother’s Muggleborn, too,” Marlene said. “We used to ask her that all the time. We were sure that she was lying, or wrong, and that --” She broke off.

“That I would still get magic,” Iphigenia finished, quietly.

“But,” Marlene continued, “she said that’s not how it works. She said that everyone has magic, but not everybody develops the core. She said there hasn’t been a lot of research into why Muggleborns do develop one when their parents haven’t, but she said that essentially, anyone could give birth to a magical child.”

“Or to a Squib,” added Iphigenia.

“Or a Squib,” agreed Marlene.

Dorcas could tell that Lily didn’t like this. She could practically see her mind whirring with all the implications that this new knowledge had on her theories about Muggles, Wizards,, and prejudice.

“It makes sense,” Dorcas said. “It explains a lot, really. Like the soulmate bond.”

“The what?” said Lily. Both she and Mary were staring at Dorcas as if she’d grown a second head.

“The soulmate bond. You know. Any marks on your own body start showing up on your soulmate’s body, indicating that you’re destined to spend your life together.”

“Wizards believe in soulmates?” Mary asked. Dorcas felt mildly irritated that the two of them seemed more bewildered by this than the fact that their fourth roommate had been taking Polyjuice potion to cover up that a pure blood family had given birth to a Squib, but she supposed she was partly at fault for bringing up the bond in the first place.

“Yes, but listen. If a wizard and a Muggle are soulmates, then the marks will show up on the wizard’s skin, but not the Muggle’s. So it makes sense that the Muggle has the magic to form the bond, but doesn’t possess the magical core required for the marks to appear. Right?” She turned to Iphigenia and Marlene for confirmation.

“That sounds right to me,” said Marlene.

“Great,” said Dorcas, before Lily could start up again. “Now, can we please take a break from the magical theory to focus on the fifth person who is now in our room?”

All eyes turned to Iphigenia.

“Surely your parents must be looking for you,” said Mary.

“Probably,” Iphigenia agreed. “But they can’t very well admit that I’m missing, can they?”

“They’re bound to check here soon,” said Marlene. “And I can’t exactly be found hiding you from them.”

“We need to hide you somewhere they won’t think to look for you,” said Dorcas thoughtfully.

“I can’t believe I’m about to say this,” said Lily, “but you know who would be able to help?”

***  
Sirius wasn’t quite clear on exactly how it happened. He and Remus were in the dorm, where Remus was reading and Sirius was trying to teach himself a Permanent Sticking Charm, when Peter suddenly burst through the door.

“The girls are being really weird,” he said, without preamble. “Come on.”

Sirius, sensing a prank opportunity, leapt to his feet immediately, and he and Remus followed Peter to a classroom that was occupied by only the other first-year Gryffindors.

“You’re right,” said Sirius. “This IS weird.”

“They asked for our help,” said Peter.

“That’s even weirder,” agreed Remus.

“You don’t know the half of it,” grumbled Dorcas.

Sirius’s eyes snapped to her, and he scanned the group of girls. Something was off…

“Who’s that?” asked Remus. Sirius followed his gaze and mentally smacked himself for not realizing it earlier. There were five girls standing across from them.

“Marlene McKinnon,” said Lily, without any further explanation.

Peter’s brow was furrowed. “Didn’t I see you? That time in the hallway, when I thought Iphigenia’s hair was getting darker…”

It took Sirius a moment to recall the incident in question. He remembered Peter insisting that he’d seen Iphigenia’s appearance changing between classes. Sirius had thought it was odd at the time, but hadn’t thought about it at all since.

“That was me,” the girl -- Marlene -- confirmed.

“But who are you?” asked James.

“Listen, if it’s all the same to everyone, can we jump right to the short version this time? It’s just, I’ve heard this story twice already today, and it’s starting to feel a bit dull,” said Dorcas.

\--

A few minutes later, and with only minimal additional prompting from Dorcas to hurry up already, the boys were caught up on the situation.

“Why exactly did you run away? I’m still confused on that point,” asked James.

“I don’t exist there,” moaned Iphigenia. “I’m not allowed to -- I’m not supposed to be me, I’m not supposed to be a Squib, and I just couldn’t stand it anymore.”

“But what were you planning to do once you got away?” pressed Lily.

Iphigenia shrugged. “I can’t explain it. I just...I wanted to come here. Even if only for a little.”

“I don’t get it,” said James. “Hogwarts is great and all, but it doesn’t seem worth running away from all that. No offense.”

“Your home life doesn’t seem all that bad, to be honest,” added Sirius. “I would give anything to have my family pretend I didn’t exist.”

“Are you guys still pretending he doesn’t say things like that?” Dorcas asked James. Sirius ignored her.

“I get it.”

Sirius turned to look at Remus, who had locked eyes with Iphigenia. He felt a brief flare of jealousy at the look of understanding they were sharing. After all, Remus had only just met the girl. Why was he looking at her as if they’d been friends for ages?

“And, even better,” continued Remus, “I know where you can hide.”

***

Convincing the others to let him take Iphigenia to an undisclosed location without any of them accompanying him was not easy.

Sirius and James were outraged that Remus knew a secret about Hogwarts that he wouldn’t share with them. The girls were concerned that this was some elaborate setup to get them all in trouble. Peter just looked at him thoughtfully, as if this revelation explained a lot.

But finally, after threatening to the group that if anyone followed them, he wouldn’t help at all, he and Iphigenia were off.

He knew that the others would pester him about why he wanted to help, why he sympathized with this rich girl “who wanted what she couldn’t have so badly that she ran away from home,” as James had put it. But he didn’t think any of them could ever understand what it was like to be promised Hogwarts, with all its magic and learning and grandeur, and then to have that taken away from you.

He knew from the moment he stepped foot on the grounds that he would not be willing to give up Hogwarts. The truth was, he’d originally crafted this plan for himself, just in case he was ever asked to leave.

“Thank you,” said Iphigenia, once they’d put a flight of stairs between themselves and the others. “You don’t have to do this.”

Remus shrugged. “I don’t mind, honestly. But I was being serious: where I’m about to take you has to remain secret.”

Iphigenia nodded. “Don’t worry. I’m used to secrets.”

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. She grinned at him.

“I guess you are, too,” she said.

Remus didn’t reply.

\--

By the time they’d arrived outside the Room, Remus was beginning to get nervous. After all, he didn’t fully understand how the Room’s magic worked. Would it be mad at him for asking this favor? What if it couldn’t help both of them?

“This might not work,” he warned. “I don’t know if being a Squib will affect how the Room acts.”

“What room?”

Right. The wall was still blank to her.

“I’ll show you. Place your hand on the wall, next to mine.”

Once she’d followed his instructions, Remus closed his eyes.

The Room was curious -- he could feel that right away. He started by apologizing, trying to make it understand that he didn’t take its magic for granted. He had the distinct impression that the room was bemused by his apologies, so he moved on to explaining the issue and drawing the room’s attention to Iphigenia.

That was when he felt something shift. He felt an energy he’d never felt in the Room before, one that he could only describe as malicious.

Remus panicked. Had that always been there? Had he not noticed it before?

_No_ , he thought. _This isn’t the Room. This is something else._

But where did it come from? Was its presence within the Room his fault? What if the maliciousness was the result of hosting a Dark creature inside the Room once a month?

Remus tried to press deeper into it, tried to understand where it was coming from. But what he found confirmed his fears: the malicious force was focused only on Iphigenia, not on him.

His eyes snapped open.

“Iphigenia, get away from the wall!”

He watched in horror as she tried to pull her hand away.

“What’s happening?” she cried.

“I don’t know!”

He screwed his eyes shut again, appealing to the Room, to the kind and helpful presence that he’d gotten to know over the year.

_Help us_ , he thought, sending a clear image of himself and Iphigenia, healthy and away from the wall. In response, the Room pulled his consciousness in.

He no longer had a body. He couldn’t see or feel or touch or taste or hear, but somehow, he was still sensing what was going on.

He could tell that he was tethered to the Room, that they had a connection that allowed them to communicate. But the Room was also tethered to something else, something much Darker.

The Darkness didn’t seem to be conscious, not like the Room was. It felt almost like a trap that he had activated when he brought Iphigenia here. And now, it was surrounding her, preventing the Room from being able to get to her.

_But what is it?_

The Room shuddered. Remus brought his focus back to Iphigenia. The Darkness seemed to be taking something from her. He could practically feel the life draining out of her.

_What am I supposed to do?_

He cast his attention around, examining again the way he was bound to the Room. The Room had always obeyed him, always helped him, but now it was obeying the Darkness. What did that mean?

Remus let the thought surface again: _Is the Darkness from me?_

The Room pushed him in a way that Remus convinced himself wasn’t quite a "yes", but was definitely not a "no" either.

_Dammit._

Steeling himself, Remus pushed towards the Darkness. Like he’d suspected, there was no consciousness there whatsoever, just a series of directions that were being played out.

_Stop_ , he told it.

To his surprise, he felt it falter.

_Don’t hurt her._

The Darkness paused. Remus felt it turn its attention to him. He got the impression that it was examining him, trying to figure out if it had to follow his orders. He swallowed, then reached down into himself and brought some of the wolf up to the surface, letting his own Darkness rippling out from him.

Suddenly, he was surrounded by light and noise so intense that they almost felt like pain.

_My body_ , he realized, feeling hard stone against his back. _I’m back in my body._

He turned his head to the side and could see Iphigenia, also on the floor.

But she wasn’t alone. Other people were there, panicking.

He couldn’t tell if she was alive. But she wasn’t alone.

He felt himself slipping away. The last thing he saw before he lost consciousness was the worried faces of three young boys.


	11. Chapter 10: Secrets Kept

Sirius had spent every hour he was allowed to visiting Remus in the Hospital Wing.

He just couldn’t understand it. Where had Remus taken Iphigenia? What had happened? And why was he keeping secrets from the rest of them?

These questions weren’t the ones that were keeping him up at night, though. Those ones, which he tried to bury, sounded more like, Is he okay? Will he wake up?

It had been two days.

Iphigenia had been moved to St. Mungo’s at her parents’ request. After a lot of interrogation and Just what did you think you were doing?s, Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore had finally understood the full picture.

“Let me get this straight,” sighed McGonagall. “You found out that a student was being forced to Polyjuice herself into another child, and that child had run away from home and was hiding in the castle and you decided to inform no one and aid her in avoiding her parents?”

The Gryffindors exchanged guilty looks.

“That about sums it up, yeah,” said James at last.

They had each lost thirty points, but Marlene was allowed to stay at Hogwarts -- as herself.

“Mum’s not sure we’ll be allowed to keep staying with the Greengrasses,” Marlene told them. “It hasn’t been discussed yet, of course, with Jeanie in the hospital and all.” She bit her lip. Sirius guessed she was feeling guilty that her half-sister was injured.

“I’m sure it will work out,” said Mary soothingly, which Sirius thought was quite bold of her, since he wasn’t at all sure about any of this.

It felt like everything had gone to shit, to be honest. What should have been a fun adventure had turned into a nightmare that had landed two of their friends in the hospital. Sirius couldn’t shake the feeling like he should’ve done something to prevent the whole mess.

Maybe that was why he kept finding himself next to Remus’s bed in the Hospital Wing.

And it all paid off when Remus opened his eyes one afternoon.

Sirius was visiting alone, studying up for exams and thinking how furious Remus would be that he was missing valuable revision time, when he heard a groan coming from the bed.

“Remus?”

Another groan.

“Remus, mate, can you hear me?”

Remus screwed up his face, but his eyes stayed shut. “Sirius?”

Sirius found himself putting down his Charms textbook and moving closer to the bed. He put his hand on Remus’s shoulder. “I’m right here.”

“Wha’ happened?”

“I’m not totally sure. We were hoping you could tell us, honestly. Can you open your eyes, Remus?”

Groggily, Remus blinked his eyes open. Sirius’s face cracked into a grin.

“You’re okay!” he whooped. “You’re okay!”

His shouts must have alerted Madam Pomfrey, who came bustling through the privacy barrier to see what had happened.

“Mr. Lupin! Good to see you back with us. How are you feeling, dear?”

Sirius didn’t even mind as she shooed him away from the bed. He couldn’t stop grinning. Remus was awake.

* * *

“Mr. Lupin, can you tell us what happened?” asked Dumbledore, peering over his spectacles.

Remus sighed. Despite his initial confusion, he was relatively sure he remembered exactly what had happened before he’d passed out. It would be a relief to share the story with the Headmaster, who could hopefully tell him what it all meant.

Or could kick him out of the school. One or the other.

Remus explained to Dumbledore (and Madam Pomfrey, who had been in the Room herself, after all) what had happened. He grimaced as he recounted to them how he’d volunteered to hide Iphigenia, but hadn’t told anyone else where they were going. He tried to relay how he had been pulled into wherever the Room existed.

He hesitated as he began to describe the Darkness, remembering his worries that his transformations had caused the Darkness. He looked up at Professor Dumbledore.

“What is it, Mr. Lupin?”

“I -- well, sir, it’s just -- this Darkness. Where do you think it might have come from?”

Dumbledore paused for a moment. “I’m not entirely sure, I’m afraid. I have a couple theories, but unfortunately, Dark magic has been practiced at Hogwarts since it was founded.”

Remus swallowed. Dumbledore frowned at him.

“But it seems that maybe there’s a particular reason why this is worrying you?”

“Werewolves are Dark creatures,” he said quickly, not making eye contact with either of the adults.

Madam Pomfrey made a little noise and placed a comforting hand on Remus’s arm.

“Ah,” said Dumbledore. “I see. Rest assured, Mr. Lupin, that I do not think the Darkness that you encountered was a result of you using the Room for your transformations.”

“But it makes sense,” Remus insisted, unwilling to let his fears go unvoiced now that he’d started. “It listened to me. I told it to stop hurting Iphigenia and it did. Why would it do that?”

“I can’t say for sure,” said the Headmaster slowly. “I daresay that you probably know more about the Room than I do.”

“But you have theories.”

“I have theories, yes.” Dumbledore sighed. “The Room opened itself to you, Mr. Lupin. It does not do that for everyone. It may be that it’s the Dark magic inside you that allowed you to bond with the Room to begin with.”

Remus’s insides squirmed at the thought. He suddenly remembered the bond between him, the Room, and the Darkness.

“But, dear boy, don’t misunderstand me. Dark magic -- well, it’s just magic that remembers being used to harm, really. Do you understand? There are things that are considered Dark now that in my childhood, were considered benign, until people started to abuse them. It can still be used for other purposes.”

Remus shook his head. “You didn’t feel it,” he said. “This Darkness, it could never be capable of anything other than destruction.”

“Maybe not,” conceded the Headmaster. “But that doesn’t mean that you are not capable of good.”

Remus stared at his hands. He wasn’t really sure he could afford to believe Dumbledore. He heard the old man sigh next to him.

“I know it might seem untrue to you. But remember that I very firmly believe that, Mr. Lupin.”

* * *

James smiled and leaned against the beech tree he and his friends were lounging near. The weather was lovely, the school year was almost over, and Remus and Iphigenia had both made full recoveries from their final misadventure.

“But where did you go?” asked Sirius for the thousandth time.

“Sirius Black. I am not going to tell you. And if you keep pestering me, you’re just going to make me angry.”

James sat up straight and snapped his focus to Remus. He saw matching curious expressions on Sirius and Peter’s faces.

Remus eyed them distrustfully.

“What?”

“We’ve never seen you angry,” said Peter.

“I didn’t think it was possible,” added James.

“It’s probably unhealthy to keep things all bottled up the way you do,” said Sirius, grinning. “You need to let it out, Remus. Go on. Tell me I’m being a wanker and you hate me.”

“You’re being a wanker and I hate you,” said Remus calmly, turning his attention back to the book he’d been attempting to study.

“You’re no fun at all. Do you know that?”

Remus merely ignored him, which was, James knew, something that Sirius absolutely could not stand.

“Remus. Remus! Come on. Where’s that anger I was promised? You can’t solve all your problems with books, you know. Surely you must have realized that by now.”

James glanced at Peter, who rolled his eyes at Sirius’s antics. He grinned and turned back to his own revising.

When he next looked up, it was to discover that Sirius had given up on verbal attempts to engage Remus, and had instead chosen to lay down with his head in the other boy’s lap, where he seemed to be dozing off. Remus, for his part, had leaned his book against the side of Sirius’s head and was turning pages with one hand while absently scratching Sirius’s head with the other.

James grinned again. Sirius was like a dog sometimes; he desperately craved attention and wouldn’t settle down until he received it.

But it wasn’t long before Sirius resembled a kicked puppy more than an excitable dog. As the time to get back on the Hogwarts Express drew closer, Sirius’s mood grew darker and darker.

“You’re welcome to visit as often as you like,” James reminded him on their final evening at school. The four of them had finished most of their packing and were lazing about in their dorm. Peter and Remus were playing a game of Exploding Snap with a deck they’d found under Peter’s bed, and James and Sirius were watching them from James’s bed.

“Yeah. Thanks. The sooner I can get out of there, the better.”

“Why go at all?” James asked, finally voicing the question that’d been building inside of him for the last week.

Sirius shrugged. “I can’t abandon Regulus to all that madness. Maybe it’ll be different once he’s at Hogwarts next year, but I worry about him.”

“Is he a troublemaker, too?”

“No. I think he wants to please them, and that worries me so much more.”

“You damn noble Gryffindor. Running back into danger to save your brother.”

Sirius flashed him an approximation of his troublemaker grin.

“You know me. Always trying to be a hero.”

James’s heart panged for his friend. He felt so powerless to help Sirius. They were just kids, and Sirius’s parents had a lot of power.

\--

The ride on the Hogwarts Express was very similar to the one they’d taken over the winter holidays, with James, Peter, and Remus trying their best to boost Sirius’s spirits before they had to part ways.

Peter was excited for the break, overall, but sad to be parting from his friends. It would be much harder to fill his days without the three of them.

“It’ll be over before you know it, Sirius,” Remus was assuring him.

“Yeah! And then we’ll all be at my house, and you can resume pestering Remus about where he took Iphigenia,” added James.

It was a mark of how dark Sirius’s mood was that Remus didn’t protest.

“Why wait? You could send me an owl every day this summer badgering me.”

Peter snorted. “I hear Muggles have even faster ways of communicating, if that’s not enough.”

James nudged Sirius’s side. “And you can always contact me through the mirrors. Happy to come rescue you if your parents try to marry you to a cousin or anything.”

Peter thought Sirius almost smiled.

“Yeah, that’d be awful. The only cousin I liked already went and got married.”

“Tragedy. Hey, you could marry one of my cousins, instead! Then we’d be family!” James offered.

“I’m pretty sure we already are,” Sirius said. “Distantly, at least.”

“Can we please put a hold on the wedding arrangements? At least until we’re all out of school?” said Remus.

James grinned. “You’ll never find love with that attitude, Remus! You have to get your head out of your books once in a while!”

“Last time I did that, I met you lot.”

“Exactly!”

“Exactly.”

While James continued to tease Remus about his priorities, Peter nudged Sirius with his foot.

“You can survive them,” he said when the other boy looked up. “You’ve done it all these years, yeah? You’re stronger than you think.”

Sirius looked away.

“Thanks, Pete.”

\--

When Sirius closed his bedroom door at last, he let himself feel the wave of emotion that he’d been trying to shut down ever since he spotted his mother on the platform at King’s Cross. The house only intensified it; every dark inch of it seemed to scream _you don’t belong here_.

He fell back onto his bed. It was going to be a long summer.

_You can survive them_ , Peter whispered in his memory.

Sirius took a deep breath, then Summoned his Gryffindor paraphernalia from his trunk. Time to put his Permanent Sticking Charm to the test.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who read, commented, etc! I know this fic might not have been the most exciting one out there, but it laid down a lot of the foundation for how this universe is going to work. Keep an eye out for Book 2!


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